He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
