Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just found puke in my bra..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
