I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
