Dual....:-)
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
