JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
