Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
