His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
