Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
