i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
