ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
