??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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