How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
