please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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