The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
