So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
