best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Randomize
