I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
