Pants 0. Shit 1.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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