Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
