I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
All I want is dick and wine.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize