How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
