It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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