She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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