just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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