I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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