this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
