Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
