i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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