I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
sarcasm needs its own font
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
