Pappa wants mamma naked
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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