I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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