We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
