clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
