you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
