i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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