come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
