i just had sex bonerless
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
