i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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