We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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