She announced her abortion via fbk
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
