I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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