I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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