wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
