oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
