Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
