Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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