Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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