Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
