You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize