and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
