I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
