somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sext me about skeletons
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
