3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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