i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
